Lots of nurses I know are big fans of TV medical dramas.
Myself, the last thing I want to do after a busy shift in the ED is watch more medical drama unfolding.
Besides, I tell them, it’s totally ridiculoso to see so many dramatic events occur to a single character in a singe department over the course of these TV series.
But then I got thinking…. about how my own life in our department would look as a TV medical drama:
Team ED Season 1:
Episode #1: newgrad nurse Ian starts in emergency department. Asked to go to OT and pick up a vaginal rake.
Episode #7: stuck my head in a commode full of diarrhoea. Wards-men laughing so hard nearly drop bariatric patient.
Episode #8: I’m wrestled to floor by naked lady in hospital shower. Episode banned in US due to excessive soggy scrub-crack.
Episode #10: hospital staff sprung having sex on CT table.
Episode #11: I’m assaulted by gargantuan Russian man, held by neck against wall with tip-toe feet just off floor.
Episode #13: Doctor loses it and walks out into waiting room yelling at patients to all go home as we are far too busy to see them.
Episode #14: assaulted by weird lady wielding fluorescent blue liquid in large syringe.
Episode #23: I eat human brains.
Episode # 24. Cast deployed to Ski resort following major landslide. Spent most of day sitting on tiny weeny chairs in a pre-school library.
Episode # 25. Cover visiting Chinese delegation with blood during tour of department.
Episode #26. Cardiac resuscitation in waiting room. Pt successfully revived and vomits all over everyone. Removed on trolley kicking and screaming. Another pt asks triage if this means they will have to wait longer.
Episode #27. Patient collapses at wedding, ends up having wedding ceremony in emergency department.
Episode #30. Leading character of team ED dies from brain tumour.
Episode #35. Mass emergency services descend on ED to assist in extraction of woman’s hand from meat grinder. Cast of 5,000 with multiple guest appearances by media personalities.
Episode #40. Live grenade brought into ED by mental health patient. Grenade removed and placed in hospital garden by ballsy nurse. Bomb squad arrive. Automatic sprinkler system starts up and soaks bomb squad as they approach.
Episode #41. ED Nurse risks own life talking down jumper from hospital roof (10 stories high).
Episode #42. City engulfed in firestorm. Second largest disaster response in Australian history. Power blackout in emergency department. Pts intubated by torchlight.
Episode #44 Cast members deployed to Phuket following Tsunami.
Episode #45. Best friend and leading character dies from brain tumour.
Episode #46: spray vomit into eyes of paramedics, doctors, nurses and wards-men whilst attempting to use new automatic CPR machine.
Episode #48: Wild kangaroo actually finds its way inside hospital. Chased around by security and nursing staff trying to rescue it.
I’m not making this stuff up. And that is just some of the highlights of Series 1.
I guess on reflection a lot of unbelievable stuff really does go on. You just don’t notice it so much when you are in the series rather than watching it.
Of course, there are a few important differences:
We have a crap soundtrack, and the add breaks are waaaay too far apart. And our cast are much better looking.
So enough about my series…..what about you…if your own career was a TV drama, what would be a synopsis of a few of the season highlights?: