I have already shown you how to prank your work colleagues with a little faux poo.
Now I am going to show you how to make a surface to surface portable missile launcher out of a few bits of left-over ED kit.
WARNING: this is a potentially dangerous weapon of mass destruction.
Sure it’s cool fun and all….until it ends up with an eye out. So for cripes sakes….be careful.
Step 1. Assemble the equipment.
You will need to assemble the following:
1) a good sturdy pair of trauma scissors
2) an empty intercostal-catheter tube
( these things are not cheap, so make sure you use one that has been discarded),
3) a selection of large mouth swabs.
4) some alcohol wipes or disinfectant to clean the tube with.
Step 2. Build your launcher.
Cut the end off the intercostal-catheter tube with your trauma scissors.
I note with some dismay that some of the newer intercostal catheters are shipping in plastic bags instead of tubes.
If this is the case, let your unit manager know the impact this will have on staff ground to ground missile capabilities.
Take care not to squash the plastic tubing out of shape.
Once you have cut it down clean the end with some disinfectant.
If your trauma scissors are anything like mine, you certainly don’t want to get your lips anywhere near anything they have cut.
Step 3. Lock and load.
Fit the mouth swab snugly into the proximal end of the launcher.
A beautiful fit no? These swabs were meant to fly!
For safety I recommend you fire the missile bud-end first.
Although it does seem to maintain a more accurate trajectory if it is launched stick-end first.
Danger: Penetrating eye injury imminent!
Step 4. Pucker up.
First:
Check for innocent bystanders. You don’t want any ‘collateral damage’.
Take a big breath and blow with an explosive action.
Once again take care, the mouth-swab missile will fly a considerable distance with great force.
This one is strictly for use well away from your patients. Nurses hunting each other down with blowpipes is not the most professional of scenarios.
To help pass those lonely microseconds when you have no work that needs your attention just place a wastepaper basket at the end of the room and see who can be first to “take out the bunker”.
Or why not try a night-shift mission.
Turn out all the lights, dip the swab in some alcohol disinfectant and ignite prior to launch. Cool no?
Im kidding. Im kidding.
To increase the velocity and accuracy (because this is important when aiming at a colleague across the ED) of the large mouth swabs, try cutting the large finger from a glove and taping it to the ‘mouthpiece’ end of launcher. Place your mouth swab in the launcher so it falls to the end of the glove. Pull back on the glove whilst holding the swab – then let go!
Another tip is to keep your launcher safely hidden so no one can break it. The top shelve behind bed 3 in the resuscitation room is a good place.
[...] between traumas and dramas? Ian comes to the rescue over at Emergency Department by showing us how to make a rocket launcher out of spare ED [...]
It must be getting a little slow on the night shift again. BTW you can always increase the pay load by dipping the end in some of the faux pooh.