Presenting a few items of medically related weirdness. The perfect gift for that nurse who has everything.
Blood for drinking.
Human Blood Caffeinated Energy Potion is packed with everything a nurse needs to get them to the end of the most aenemic of shifts. Contains iron, protein, electrolytes, and 80 mg of caffeine. The manufacturers assure us it has a delectable fruit punch flavor.
The Snot Sucker.
The Snot Sucker will bring a whole new dimension to your paediatric nursing kit. Just hold the red end in your mouth and put the other end up the child’s nostril. The sucker contains a bacterial filter that the manufacturers claim prevents cross infection. Also allows you the get at the very last drop of your chocolate milkshake during afternoon tea.
Hemorrhoid Forceps.
These forceps were used in the 1800′s. The hemorrhoid was grasped between the blades firm pressure applied to stop the blood supply, causing the hemorrhoid to drop off. But with a little imagination, these forceps will become an indispensable tool of your trade. Just have them peaking out the top of your scrubs pocket. Sure to get the conversation going.
Upholstered Vagina.
This anatomically overstuffed vagina comes complete with a clitoral headrest.
Personally, I can think of nothing better than flopping into a nice comfy vagina after a crazy busy day at the hospital.
Smell Stoppers.
These small allergenic filters are practically invisible once inserted up your shnoz.
Dip them in something sweet-smelling and you will be ready to prance around amongst the most evil of stenches. Be the envy of your colleagues.
Knitted Patient.
And finally, if you still get a little queasy around the traumatic end of our profession, you kick back and get to know your way around a little knitted anatomy instead.
In winter you can use the skull for a nifty balaclava and the large bowel wraps neatly as a peristaltic scarf.
Say, has anyone seen my balls of wool?
the mother, snot sucker is better………………….but only in the Kimberlies
OMG! I love the smell stoppers, why didn’t I think of that!?! And, what red blooded teenage boy wouldn’t LOVE a vagina to rest in everyday….
But, the snot sucker, that is wrong on so many levels…..
Oooh I would love the smell stoppers. I usually just pop a really strong mint in my mouth and that helps, or for super dooper bad smells (draining the naso gastric tube of a patient with a bowel obstruction comes to mind), I pop a little vaporub inside each nostril.
Ok so that Snot sucker is just ewwwwwww!
But I love the vagina lounge……my husband could no longer complain that he isn’t “in” enough!!!! LOL!