Adventure dehisce.
By impactEDnurse • Sep 27th, 2009 • Category: Lead Story
I will shortly be heading off on an adventure in New Zealand for a few weeks to re-fibrillate the old batteries.
Probably wont be posting too much during this time (after all…adventures are for letting all this sort of stuff drop away, no?)
But I do hope to post the occasional log of our trip which you will be able to read here: Not Just a Nurse.
And I have a favor to ask…..whilst I’m gone, would someone mind watering my blog from time to time?
Take some time to think of the funniest medical related story you can remember and drop it in the comments of this post.
Maybe it is a story that actually happened to you….or to a colleague. Could be a link to the funniest story you have read on-line. What about your experiences as a patient?
Perhaps it is an anecdote or simply your best medical joke. Let rip.
I will be checking in from time to time to get my hit of comment crack …. and in this case hopefully a little comment crack-up!
And as a little incentive, when I get back, there will be a prize for the funniest story1.
Make us laugh.
Take care,
Ian.
- I would love to make it something excellent, but unless there is a company out there that wants to donate a wee prize….it will have to be an impactednurse t-shirt of your choice. I did say it would be a little incentive. [↩]
impactEDnurse is also known as Ian Miller, a nurse with over 26 years experience working in a busy emergency department in, Australia. This site in no way reflects the opinions of that hospital.
All stories (although based on actual experiences) have been changed to protect patient confidentiality.
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Here you go, Ian – my most embarrassing moment as a nursing student:
If there is one thing that I’ve learnt, it is that nurses, as patients, are either a total pain in the arse to look after or they are pretty good value. I’ve come across a few nasty ones, but the award for the coolest old nurse ever goes to the old girl that I looked after in my first ever prac placement as a very nervous first-year nursing student.
She was constipated and needed a visit from the suppository fairy. As you do, Andrea, the nurse that I was working with was more than happy to palm off sticking her finger up someone’s bum to the eager student. After going through what I needed to do, we went in, and I let my patient know what was about to do. After five days BNO, she was more than happy to get the supps.
Informed consent? Check.
Medication order valid? Check.
Patient positioned? Check.
Supps and finger well lubed? Oh yeah, that’s a check.
Gloved up, I was ready to rock. I was confident. I was ready. I knew what I was about to do. I was about to poke some medication way, way up a little old lady’s arse.
The grossness of the thought of my impending rectal excursion was pushed aside by the joy of practising a new skill.
It was at this point that my buddy CN decided to inform me that Betty was an old nurse. Betty chimed in, as relaxed as all hell, about how she knew exactly what I was about to do. My exuberant feeling of confidence started to evaporate.
But, no time for doubts – onwards and upwards…
I pushed on, letting old Betty know that “this might fell a little cold”.
Boy, that suppository was slippery. I fumbled and then managed to get it in. “Here we go, Betty…”
It was as the second knuckle of my finger passed through her sphincter that she let rip with, “Oh God, yeah! That feels wooooonderful!”
Sweet Jesus…
I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me up. I had no idea what to say. My buddy CN must have been a bloody fantastic poker player, but she was having trouble not cracking up.
“OK”, I squeeked, “one more to go…”
My nurse and I finished up, excused ourseleves, and drew back the curtain… only to find 3 other randy 80 years olds sitting up in their beds with ear-to-ear grins giving me finger waves. I even scored an attempt at a seductive “you hoo…”
I looked back at old Betty, who laughed and explained that Andrea had prewarned her that this was the first time that I had given anyone supps.
Crazy old bitch…
I hope that I’m a funny fart like her when I’m old.
Hi Ian!
Now, I cannot claim ownership of this story… I was just very lucky to hear it, and then spread it around the department. If this claims the t shirt it will be passed on to the wonderful EN who recounted it first…
Busy Gastro ward in unnamed Hospital.
Add one tiny, gracious nurse from Asia.
Throw in a morbidly obese gentleman requiring a shower.
Next minute… out flies nurse from shower with look of horror.
*recount story in bad fake asian accent*
“Awwww…. I shower big, big fat man.”
“Awwww… he too big to dry his legs.”
“I bend down to dry his legs and all of a sudden, something heavy on my head”
“I look up”
……
“Awwww…. SCROTUM”