magic mushrooms
By impactEDnurse • Apr 23rd, 2006 • Category: the funnybone.Then there was the time I was looking after a 16 year old boy who had made himself a small magic mushroom quiche. His parents stood stony faced on either side of the bed in embarrassed, fuming incredulity.
There is nothing worse than having to look after a violent or agitated male under the influence of mind altering substances, but conversely, a ‘happy’, co-operative one can almost be an enjoyable diversion– almost.
Anyway, there was me checking his vital signs, reassuring his parents… and there was he happily piloting his Yellow Submarine through the land of the sugar plum fairies in search of the Wizard of OZ.
This was all most amusing until he began to look a little green around the gills. He tilted his head and looked up. You know, that half quizzical look of surprise you just know is going to be followed by a long, loud liquid soliloquy.I grabbed the nearest receptacle at hand, a small kidney dish and positioned it just as he launched into a particularly chunky recitative. ( Note to myself: trying to guess-timate vomitus trajectories is a tricky and risky business and best delegated to new graduate nurses. )
His lunch, his breakfast, and last night’s dinner each raced the other to be first past his uvula. Following in hot pursuit, was what seemed like an inordinately large portion of snacks. His mouth was forced into a large ‘O’. Green bubbles foamed from his nose. But despite obvious over-crowding of his airway he still managed to speak.
It kind of sounded something like a: “foOOOUUUR scOUUUUURRE and seven yeeEEEEAAAAAARRRSss ago ….” You get the idea.
There was no way we were going to fit this size 10 vomit into a size 3 bowl, so I hastily crouched down under the bed to grab a larger one.
I popped back up to find him drinking his gastric contents with gusto. Without spilling a drop, he chugged down the lot, not even stopping to chew on the lumpy bits.
Saucer eyed, his parents watched on as he placed the bowl down, satisfyingly licked his lips and asked them if we had any more.
Now, if we could only distill the chemical component of magic mushrooms that make people drink their own vomit… we could save hospitals worldwide millions in laundering expenses and disposable vomit bags. Money that could be better spent on more pressing public health issues.
And I’ll bet you were expecting him to spew all over me…shame on you.
impactEDnurse is also known as Ian Miller, a nurse with over 26 years experience working in a busy emergency department in, Australia. This site in no way reflects the opinions of that hospital.
All stories (although based on actual experiences) have been changed to protect patient confidentiality.
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Man oh man….I almost LOST it on that one . I have been a nurse for 16 years and this is only one of a very few things that have ever “gotton” to me in the last 15 years.
that was unbelievable!!!! Only if that could be put into a commercial, surely it would deter the curious of any age……..
Thanks, you need a warning label on that post. BLEAHH
I’m telling that story to all the kids who are curious about drugs!
Incredible; and I only thought four-legged creatures the likes of my Jack Russell terrier did bizarre things like that… I won’t forget this–that is so wild; thanks for sharing
[...] In sickness and in health. Impacted Nurse’s guestimates vomitus trajecticus after a magic mushroom quiche you’ll never forget, and Kim at Emergiblog meditation on regurgitation wants to rename the “flu” the “spew”. Her identification of the Starbucks Throwback, the Two-Fer and the expected if disgusting Non-Chewer has nutritional implications. Chewing is also inadvisable if, for example, you are uninformed and in the wilderness, about which Paul Auerbach’s wild plants and mushrooms is clear. [...]
eeew!! On the flipside, I know many people who have tried mushrooms in the past and had no problems even close to the one described above. I guess that’s what you get from eating a whole quiche of the stuff!
Okie dokie! I would have done a spit take with my coffee, but somehow I managed to keep it down! LOL!
Great minds think alike – vomitus was my take on the “food” theme, too! : D
Hmmm gives a whole new meaning to chew and spew… LOL
I have a pretty strong stomach and Im sure I would have stood by and watched as the parents did. Then added my upchuck to the incident. Ewww Kids!!!!
dues thats story has nothing to my encounter with shroom and lsd but yeah shrooms arnt to be underestimated at all they are just to unpredictibale if you want to here some of my storys email me on azzron_@hotmail.com iv got some better ones than that !!
Yerk, gross, and EEEUW.
I thought I was beyond being grossed out, but clearly you are the master. I bow to you.
I took 30 magic mushrooms about 14 years ago in Uni days down at Tassie and to this day it was the best trip I have ever had. I really think it depends on the environment and who you are with, Rock on Mushies but only in moderation and controlled environment or with a good buddy. Funny story silly boy.
That is one of the weirdest cases I’ve heard of! I regularly take “Mushrooms” and have seen many good and fortunately not so many bad trips, but never have i come across anyone willing to re ingest their own vomit, one of the effects of mushrooms is as you may be aware is a change in sensation ie: Smell, Touch and Taste.The sensation of eating whilst on mushrooms is one that is not that pleasant, food feels strange in the mouth and tastes are all out of proportion, even sucking on a Chupa Chup for instance is only bearable for a short term as the altered sensation of the lolly in the mouth takes over from the perceived taste. So how this boy managed to gulp down his own vomit is quite beyond me and i must say, quite, Unbelievable.
Id be thinking twice before eating any fungus that cant be definitely identified. while they may be red with white spots if you get it wrong and make a quiche like this guy you may as well just go and ask for a liver transplant. many of these fungus can have very nasty effects on your liver if you eat the wrong ones. eat the right one and… well you may just find yourself in a beatles video clip.